Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Coastal Maine The 39-year-old New York lawyer, standing 6’2” with an unmistakable level of authority and confidence, had been enjoying a well-deserved family vacation with his wife and children on an island off the coast of Maine when, after a day of uneventful fun (he had accidentally fallen into the icy waters of the surrounding bay a day earlier), he began to feel unwell. Chills, nausea, his lower back hurt. He opted to p

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield I remember clearly the last time that I played catch with Dad. It was the summer of 2006, soon after my multiple sclerosis diagnosis. We dug out our gloves and strolled down the street to the local high school’s ball field, talking about life, the uncertainty of the future, and—to escape the difficult answers about life and the uncertainty of the future—baseball. Would this be the Cubs’ year? What did I think about the new W

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield The readers of Sit Down Before Reading —a real-time medical memoir about tragic misdiagnoses and the horrors of Lyme disease—are an astute bunch. When I boldly stated that I hoped to have the conclusion released this past summer, they apprehensively nodded. When I pushed that back to fall, they nodded again, just as apprehensively. But one confidant, a doctor whose advice has been invaluable over many of the 17 years of my o

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield I gripped the steering wheel tighter as I felt my pulse tick higher. Arm circles waving me on meant it was my turn. I mashed down the accelerator and drove straight at the man in the ballcap holding a red flag to his chest. The speedometer rose rapidly. Which way? 40 mph, 45 mph, 50 mph. I could see his eyes. I could also see him hitting the hood of my car, bouncing off the windshield before flipping over my car ragdoll styl

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield A babyfaced newlywed on a calm day at sea There are good “perfect storms” and there are bad perfect storms. In 1993 as Laura and I were crossing the Pacific on the S.S. Universe —13 straight days at sea on a dated cruise ship without stabilizers—we ran into one such storm. Gusty winds and 30-foot swells meant barf bags lined the hallways, bumper guards were turned upward in the dining areas to prevent bowls and plates from c

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Guinevere was especially proud of her apple orchard. For it grew perfect apples, each identical in size and weight. To celebrate her last harvest of the season, she always sent 11 of the perfect apples to King Arthur on the 11th day of the 11th month. One year, as the carriage arrived to pick up Guinevere and her apples to deliver them to His Majesty’s castle, she noticed that there were not 11, but 12 apples in her pail! Ev

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield I stared at the gaudy numbers in disbelief. Those couldn’t be right, but they had to be right. Randall, my actuarial angel, had simply done what I asked: plugged a nationwide 30% MS misdiagnosis rate into his spreadsheet of the regional and national prevalence of US-based MS cases (based on the 2019 study ) overlayed with the CDC’s Lyme disease prevalence data by state, nothing more. He didn’t mince words. “I hope you (and

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield I’m a writer. I’ve always been a writer. I wrote a play in elementary school about an alien invasion that went undetected because it occurred during Halloween, a movie script in junior high featuring a flushing toilet as the whirlpool monster Charybdis in a remake of Homer’s Odyssey , and free-form poetry channeling Tyrone Green’s opus “Kill My Landlord” (played by Eddie Murphy on Saturday Night Live ). As a general rule,

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Laura buried her head between her knees to keep from throwing up. We were already an hour into our flight from Albuquerque to Houston on our way to MD Anderson Cancer Center, and she was only on page two of the consent form. “No one has cancer, no one’s dying,” I said, tucking her hair behind an ear. “It’s just a screening visit. We don’t have to go through with this.” I wasn’t sure what to say—I was wholly unfamiliar at be

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield No matter how much I wish it, the evening of January 26, 2002, will never fully fade. Laura and I seldom speak of it, it rarely comes up in conversation with friends, and I have not written about it, not once. But the evening randomly invades my thoughts, replaying over and over like a skipping record. And then, just as suddenly, it recedes into a remote corner of memories waiting to reawaken. The night always unfolds the sa

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Laura and I thought we had properly prepared ourselves for our doctor’s appointment—rehearsing our elevator plea for treatment on the drive over and discussing the nuances of being open to “alternative” medical theories—but we weren’t truly prepared. Not for this. [Note: details of this meeting have been changed to protect the doctor’s privacy.] “I imagine you are wondering why I have tinfoil on the windows,” said Dr. Altern

Sit Down Before Reading, A Memoir by Dave Bexfield When I was in fourth and fifth grade, I always left my window shade up a notch when I went to sleep so I could look out onto our family’s short driveway and monitor the main road beyond. It was essential. Most nights Dad came home late, well past my bedtime, and I was determined not to fall asleep before the lights of his blue Plymouth Belvedere bathed my bedroom with its yellowing headlights. To help stay awake I had create

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield The raised eyebrows, the disbelieving shaking of heads, the overly dramatic eye rolls....

Sit Down Before Reading, A Memoir by Dave Bexfield When I heard the news, I don’t remember ever crying that hard. Not over the phone, anyway. And certainly not in front of Laura. I tried apologizing through my wails, but I couldn’t catch my breath fast enough. The waves of life’s inescapable realities had finally breached my optimistic levees. I had tried to brace for the news that I feared was coming the moment I answered the call, as the frail, slurring voice on the other

Sit Down Before Reading, A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Patients put loads of trust in doctors, mound it even higher when it comes to specialists, and routinely shovel it by the bucketful to the world’s leading experts and the renowned facilities that harbor them. There’s a reason people crisscross the States and travel internationally to get the best treatment possible at the Mayo Clinics of the world. That’s what Andy did, one of our closest friends, when he kept shedding weigh

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Trying to counteract the anxiety that is now surging, I try to self soothe, tell myself that it’s likely Lyme disease. That’s the only thing that could make sense. On August 16, 2012, 43-year-old Meredith O’Brien tried to make herself comfortable on the examination table’s crinkly paper. The Massachusetts native had had another bout of numbness and facial palsy. What was going on? The seasoned journalist had narrowed down th

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Inconceivable. Grasp that concept. It’s the only way to prepare yourself for what you are about to learn, and with each revelation on the coming pages, repeat that to yourself— inconceivable —as though you are recreating a scene from The Princess Bride . Part III is truly inconceivable, and the reason even close friends are reticent to read any more of this memoir, peering through fingers to shield their eyes at the very rea

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield October 23, 2022, marks one year since I made the life-altering discovery that I have Lyme disease. After struggling with an incorrect diagnosis of multiple sclerosis for the past 17 years—7 failed disease modifying therapies including a stem cell transplant —the past 12 months have been such a rarity, as hope nudged aside dread and creeping disability. Hope. What a remarkable concept. But despite my life’s unexpected arc, a

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield Sometime in the early 2000s, maybe 2004, flawed science ruined one of my life’s all-time favorite guilty pleasures: LAY’S Flamin’ Hot Flavored Potato Chips. No, this isn’t the current scandal where they inexplicably added lime flavor, which inspired a change.org petition that drew over 23,000 signatures to get that revision reversed. It’s far worse. In years past, if a bag of Flamin’ Hots entered our household it was doomed

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield “Why, Dave?” That’s a fair question. After all, Laura and I are beyond fortunate to have the flexibility to fly anywhere in the world for expert Lyme disease care. So why in God’s name have I been so insistent on getting that care and treatment locally? We have the available cash to bypass the expected insurance denials and absorb the myriad extra expenses associated with visits to specialists and unreimbursed medications. S

Sit Down Before Reading: A Memoir by Dave Bexfield PC: Arnaldo Anaya Lucca Stopping antibiotics when you have a stubborn case of Lyme disease might seem ludicrous. But I’ve been involved in far more ludicrous situations than I can count. Like the time I hit a pedestrian who literally jumped in front of my Toyota 4Runner while I was driving 50 mph, only to see him bound to his feet—just a flesh wound, apparently—and run away to the safety of a Home Depot, where he was promptl